*Bitter Regret Face!*
SO I got to Dell Arte 6 weeks from tomorrow and am DETERMINED to put myself in the best possible state of mind - I ruined my college career by spending a lot of time lying on the floor wondering if I could eat a sandwich or the best way to put myself into a coma. I refuse to let that happen again. By the time I was a junior at Marymount I had tried every major available anti-depressant, and the least offensive side effect was falling asleep on the N train and waking up in Coney Island. Sleepiness, weight gain, zombification, and I never really stopped being desperately sad. I have six weeks to try all the Seattley options. An extremely reputable Ballard acupuncturist has agreed to see me for a third of her usual rate. Yoga, as we know makes me bawl, but I'm committing to 3 classes a week. I want to make my body as strong as I can before I get to DA so I can do the best possible work, and I have a friend with SEVERE depression who was able to give up her meds after four years of daily yoga practice. The possibility of those double benefits give me a kind of hope that will get me through the horrible crying poses.
Enough words for today: I'm off to make a spreadsheet. OMG I LOVE spreadsheets. Put my life into manageable little boxes and then color code them? YES PLEASE!
2 comments:
One of the worst parts of having depression, besides the sheer amount of your life it steals is that you can never trust your own emotions. Am I unhappy in this relationship, or am I depressed? Do I need to quit this job because I'm miserable, or am I just depressed?
Exactly. Let me know how that acupuncture and yoga works for you. I need to get un-depressed too.
I hear ya, lady. I'm pretty much there, too. I actually got a prescription for Zoloft, but then couldn't bring myself to do it. I really believe that exercise, sleep and eating well are the keys- but I'm so low I can't totally bring myself to DO those things! Ha, but yes, spreadsheets do help. :) I loves spreadsheets. Also, something I find myself doing is alienating myself from others, thinking it's what I want and what will make me and them feel better. But, this isn't true. So just make sure you always surround yourself with people who love you- even if it's not always easy. Good for you for being so proactive and doing all of this! I hope it works!!! :) xoxo
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