Cheer Up, Emo Kid

IMAG0313
Originally uploaded by RatCityCircus

Things aren't all that bad. I have to figure out a new way to get to Dell Arte, but I'm still going to go. I have to.

Besides, I just got a fantastic new concrete slab of Man-Cat named Milo who purrs like a cricket. My sister is visiting, and she has awesomesauce instead of human blood. Chris is getting a lot of work, I still have an apartment, and I should probably just calm the hell down. Calm Down Freak-O!

Oh! An awesome Ballard acupuncturist agreed to give me a you're-crazy -and-I-don't-want-you-to-be-crazy-on-my-watch rate to try to needle the crazy out. Go Team Needles!

PPS Look at this cat. Everything about him is fucking perfect. He's like pet my perfect tummy. Go ahead, I won't even maul you. Also I'll purr adorably and make you for get stuff that is crappy.

A Major Setback

Ah the Student Loan Trolls, the absolute bain of my existence.

They took my entire tax refund, otherwise known as my Dell Arte tuition. Thanks for crushing my dreams once again, College. Bastards.

The worst part is, this is the first year I dilligently PAID my loans every single month.

Post Show Blues

I haven't been feeling very bloggy lately. Post Show Let Down continues, and I'm trying to beat it by spending too much money on little comforts and rich food. Did I mention I'm still unemployed?

Now it's not all sad faces and rainclouds, I'm optimistic and I've retained the confidence I gained in Tuna. I'm back at the Trapeze school with my clown partner Christine, whom I adore. She keeps me motivated. She's kept training while I was gone, and it really shows. I have almost 2/3 of my tuition saved to take the summer clown intensive at Dell Arte, which continues to scare the bajeezus out of me. It's one of those character building things I just need to face I guess, and keep moving forward. Cant be better if I don't suck it up and learn.

Chris auditioned for Cirque du Soleil last week in San Francisco, and I was so very proud of him. Top ten out of the final 80 out of who knows how many thousand entries. AND I got to wander around San Fran for a few days, which I really needed. What a fascinating easty-coasty city.

As far as making things better - I have to figure out a plan for getting on proper birth control that doesn't exacerbate my depression, AND get something for my depression. I'm happy about health care reform, but 2014 seems mighty far off.

I shall endeavor to be bloggier.

Yoga

Yoga is a physical discipline. So I says to myself, self I says - I can do this.

No, no I can't. By the time my dog is downward, I have a lump in my throat threatening to become open crying, and it doesn't go away until the class is finished. Oh, and the immediate and intense depression. That's fun.

So yoga can cause me to have emotions, that's good. Can I get some of those GOOD feelings everybody always talks about?