"It is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she?... What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complementary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks, the luck, the love? Were we really separated forcibly or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarrass me? And what about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again? And if we're driving on the Autobahn when it happens, can we still use the diamond lane?"
-John Cameron Mitchell as Hedwig Schmidtt
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Hi Beauties. This brought me some inspiring perspective. I'm already proud to be a part of this family. Lloyd's gonna make it. So am I. I know we are.
Well, I had to take down the ChipIn page, somebody went all creepy all over it.
Rar.
I'm going to try to get www.kickstarter.com to accept a proposal for me - but they really only do plans with a finite outcome. Help me think of a way to propose my tuition, or the trip or SOMETHING as a plan they'd let me run on their site?
Come to me, oh smart masses!!
Oh, and as for the douchecanoe that ruined my fundraising page?
Every five years, my brain grows robot legs, one of those little rotating saws, a desire to see the world, and tries to exit my head. In 2002 I up and left Missouri for New York. In 2007, I up and left New York for Seattle. Well we're creepin' up on 2012, and the little saw is a'buzzin in there.
But I already have a place to run away to all set up (if I didn't I'd probably be looking at teaching jobs in Copenhagen or something. Seriously, I do this)! So instead Brain is just bouncing around in there, making me feel all weird and insecure and terrible. In years past it's been all cry cry cry nobody loves me, I'm an annoying person and I'll be alone forever. This is the first year ever I haven't been able to get away with that one. I have beautiful, talented, supportive friends. I have a brilliant ex, who though he could barely stand me when we were together (I KID!!), still wants to hang out with me now that we're not . Someone even told me lately that I'm 'not as awkward as I think I am'. That is such a relief. I worry ALL the time. But I'm starting to realize how irrational that is, and that means I'm not insane all the way.
This is going to be SO GOOD FOR ME. I hate leaving Seattle and my friends, especially with all the new babies that will be running around almost exactly when I leave. But I gotta fight the robot.
Also Chris bet me I couldn't learn Mills Mess in 2 months. If I do, he'll put 50$ in my clown fund.
Prepare to eat it.
(Mills Mess is this trick, but with less lookin' like a douchebag:)
