VENT!

I lost my brand new expensive-assed phone. Good move sparky, that's mistake number one. Yay, you're a smart girl, you insured it YAY! It's still going to cost 90$ to replace it BOO! You can make and easy claim online and they'll send the replacement overnight YAY! Ooh, except for you, Laviolette, you'll need to print these forms and fax them in and then we'll see if we can send you a new phone.

Cut.

A girl.

A break.

I don't have a job, you guys. Not only can I not afford your service, I certainly don't have a printer and a fax machine. Could you cut me some slack ? I won't get my unemployment if I don't have phone service, and then I'll starve and die and haunt your sad little cubicle. Be cool and send me a new phone.