Dude.

Seriously facebook, we've talked about this. I've tried to laugh off the dating sites and constant photo reminders, but I'm pretty sure this is the last straw. Jerk.

Super Cupcake Justice League

"The Caffinator"

"The Slinger"

"Baker's Justice"

"Frosting Blade"

"The Hipster Defender"

"The Night Manager"

GIANT CAT EATS BALLARD

Dear god, hide the children!

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Facebook, you are a bad friend.

Here's a list of things facebook should change, because it's being a real dick.

We all know facebook specializes its ad content. I used to be annoyed by all the ads for bridal photography and engagement rings, but when I changed my status from 'in a relationship' to 'single' (which is a hellish week long emotional goddamned process) all the ads immediately (and visibly) turned over from engagements to dating sites. Cool. maybe they should also hire someone to come over and kick you right in the fucking teeth.

Lets talk about that status change for a second. It sucks. It hurts you, it hurts the other person in the relationship, and it creates a lot of drama nobody needs. Did you know that when you finally get brave drunk enough to change your status, a confirmation box pops up. It says ever so delicately:

"Your relationship with ___________ _____ will be terminated. [YES][NO]"

You sonofabitch, facebook. Somewhere there has to be a human being that chose the text for that screen. That person has no soul. I am sad for them.

Oh, and facebook. Those "Photo Memories" you pop up on the side panel are ever so thoughtful. Ah yes, all the trips we took together, oh! That show we did! It's nice that you want me to remember that today facebook. I so look forward to the day you prompt me to "reconnect" with him. Dislike.