Quite out of ideas, I wrote the things I needed to let go of on a white sheet of paper and lit that shit on goddamned fire.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Vulnerability
Wow. I came back to blog in my blog only to find my last post was a year ago TO THE DAY. I was about to barrel into Clown Block.
Oh to hop in my TARDIS and return to that day.
The year that has followed it has contained the highest professional highs and the lowest personal lows of my life. I lied. I cheated. I probably stole. I let the shame of it tear me completely apart. But as my therapist (and pinterest) have said, rock bottom is a good place from which to build your new life. And hey, I didn't end up dead or in jail, so, you know. Hope.
So now I'm creating my first original piece of theatre. I'm of course terrified it'll be exactly the sort of thing I hate seeing at fringe festivals (I HAVE FEELINGS AND I'M GOING TO FEEL THEM AT YOU) but I'm tired of letting that fear stop me trying. I'm trying to learn how to let myself exist in the world. Oh wait - everyone should watch this.
This is my study now. Which means writing more here (even though I'm super crazy insecure!). It means creating work (see above! Aah!) It means being a better friend and a whole hearted person.
Oh to hop in my TARDIS and return to that day.
The year that has followed it has contained the highest professional highs and the lowest personal lows of my life. I lied. I cheated. I probably stole. I let the shame of it tear me completely apart. But as my therapist (and pinterest) have said, rock bottom is a good place from which to build your new life. And hey, I didn't end up dead or in jail, so, you know. Hope.
So now I'm creating my first original piece of theatre. I'm of course terrified it'll be exactly the sort of thing I hate seeing at fringe festivals (I HAVE FEELINGS AND I'M GOING TO FEEL THEM AT YOU) but I'm tired of letting that fear stop me trying. I'm trying to learn how to let myself exist in the world. Oh wait - everyone should watch this.
This is my study now. Which means writing more here (even though I'm super crazy insecure!). It means creating work (see above! Aah!) It means being a better friend and a whole hearted person.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Chasing the Dragon
I was just listening to some La Bottine Souriante (www.bottinesouriante.com) and made a strange realization about a connection in my brain. Years ago I desperately wanted to make music because of the feeling it gave me. I tried a lot of instruments so I could be on the inside of the sound. The feeling that good clown gives me is the exact same feeling. Exact same chemical, location in the brain, and desire to be on the inside of it. To DO it, to provide it for others.
It's a feeling that connects me to something, and maybe the only one that makes me feel, at my worst, like there's a reason for me on this planet.
Very strange that these very different things are the same. The Great Big Sea feeling is the same as the Geoff Hoyle feeling?
Must make it more.
This song helped me get there today :
http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Walk+Humbly+Son/3ZhSjP?src=5
Which also makes me miss you, Miriam. <3
It's a feeling that connects me to something, and maybe the only one that makes me feel, at my worst, like there's a reason for me on this planet.
Very strange that these very different things are the same. The Great Big Sea feeling is the same as the Geoff Hoyle feeling?
Must make it more.
This song helped me get there today :
http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Walk+Humbly+Son/3ZhSjP?src=5
Which also makes me miss you, Miriam. <3
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
WE GOT WIFI!!!
CALLOO CALLAY! Only time will tell if this actually helps me post more, but it's certainly a step in the right direction.
Right now for instance, I'm on my way to the school library to try to check out a copy of ACT's Taming of the Shrew, which was amazing, and then coloquium at seven and rehearsal at 8. I'm totally exhausted, if anyone out there had any suggestions or herbal elixirs for energy, send them my way. I feel all old over here.
At any rate:
Right now for instance, I'm on my way to the school library to try to check out a copy of ACT's Taming of the Shrew, which was amazing, and then coloquium at seven and rehearsal at 8. I'm totally exhausted, if anyone out there had any suggestions or herbal elixirs for energy, send them my way. I feel all old over here.
At any rate:
Monday, November 7, 2011
Animal Week
Greetings from Arcata Square!
Going into week five on crutches! Animal week was especially hard for me, that's the kind of work I can really dig into. We went to the zoo, watched a lot of YouTube and tried to produce some convincing animals. Mostly, it was not good. But we once again started to disregarded the impossible, so it counts as a success.
I had a short update meeting with the faculty Friday, and I'm feeling much relieved. They aren't worried about me, and as usual know me better than I know myself.
Being injured has allowed me to take an ALARMING amount of notes. Shall I share with you some gems? I think I shall. I hesitate to talk about what we're doing at all. It's like my own little religion. I have to tell you, the people that teach us here say some profound, hilarious stuff.
"I'm asking for fire in the pelvis What you're giving me is mice in the underpants." -R
"Love one another. It's the best. Otherwise life becomes an endless road of legislation" -R
"Never trust a seated artist"
"Pulling out the chair
Beneath your mind
And watching you fall upon God –" - Hafiz
I also got to celebrate Diwali, the Indian festival of lights with Pratik and the entire famiglia (Dell'Arte family!) He made a huge vat of traditional Indian street food, and we lit hundreds of candles all over. It was lovely!
Going into week five on crutches! Animal week was especially hard for me, that's the kind of work I can really dig into. We went to the zoo, watched a lot of YouTube and tried to produce some convincing animals. Mostly, it was not good. But we once again started to disregarded the impossible, so it counts as a success.
I had a short update meeting with the faculty Friday, and I'm feeling much relieved. They aren't worried about me, and as usual know me better than I know myself.
Being injured has allowed me to take an ALARMING amount of notes. Shall I share with you some gems? I think I shall. I hesitate to talk about what we're doing at all. It's like my own little religion. I have to tell you, the people that teach us here say some profound, hilarious stuff.
"I'm asking for fire in the pelvis What you're giving me is mice in the underpants." -R
"Love one another. It's the best. Otherwise life becomes an endless road of legislation" -R
"Never trust a seated artist"
"Pulling out the chair
Beneath your mind
And watching you fall upon God –" - Hafiz
"More cojones. Less... child bearing area."-R
We deal a lot with re-training audiences. Not feeding them conventions. And we never, ever clap unless we mean it.
I also got to celebrate Diwali, the Indian festival of lights with Pratik and the entire famiglia (Dell'Arte family!) He made a huge vat of traditional Indian street food, and we lit hundreds of candles all over. It was lovely!
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